Why Being Around Other People Matters More Than Ever

From boosting mood to easing stress, being around others does things for your nervous system that no screen or AI can replicate.

Humans Are Wired for Other Humans (Even Strangers Count)

Psychologist Robert Zajonc described the mere presence effect: simply having another person nearby can improve focus, motivation, and performance…even without direct interaction. Whether it’s working in a coffee shop or walking through a busy street, your nervous system responds to human presence.

Connection and Co-Regulation

Our brains and bodies are designed to regulate in connection with others. Research shows that being around calm, supportive people lowers stress hormones and even regulates your heartbeat and breathing. (Allan Schore, 1994; Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory, 2011). This is why you often feel calmer sitting with someone safe, even in silence.

The Toll of Isolation

Chronic loneliness has been linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and physical illness. But everyday connection (chatting with a barista, making eye contact with a neighbor, or sitting in a busy café) protects mental and physical health. These small moments matter more than we think.

Why Embodied Presence Matters

Digital interactions can’t give us the full picture. Eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and micro-expressions communicate safety and warmth in ways screens or AI cannot. Technology can simulate words, but not the nervous system-to-nervous system regulation that happens face-to-face.

Artificial vs. Real Connection

Artificial connection might feel safe and controlled, but it doesn’t give us the richness of embodied, human presence. Real connection, even in its imperfection, is what helps us feel fully alive.

Bringing This Into Your Life

Next time you’re tempted to stay in, try a solo activity in public: sit in a café, bring a book to a bar, or spend an hour in a library. Notice how your mood shifts just from being around other people.

Therapy is one form of intentional, consistent presence. If you’d like to explore your relationship with connection and how it shows up in your life, I offer online sessions for adults in New York and Florida.